Henry and Marge in Love

“Henry, you still love me?”

“Huh? What kinda question’s that?”

“Do you?”

“Of course I do, Margie.”

“Will you always love me?”

“Will I always love you? Yes, I’ll always love you. What the hell’s got you askin’ all this?”

“You promise?”

“Yes. Jesus, yes. I’ll love you forever, I promise. It’s been 38 years, Margie, where the hell am I gonna go?”

“I don’t know.”

“Just because you think this body of mine I got here is special, doesn’t mean other women do too.”

“Oh they do. You don’t hear it, but I have to.”

“I was kiddin’. I’m an old pile a’ tires.”

“No. That’s not what they say.”

“Who?”

“Lots of women.”

“You yankin’ my chain right now, Marge? Your friends say things about me?”

“Yeah.”

“Like who?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Elise. Gabby. Stella. Barbar- Did you just fart?”

“I did, I’m sorry. What exactly are these ladies sayin’?”

“Every single time we’re playing cards and they see one of your old Navy pictures, or- It stinks in here now, Henry. Dammit.”

“Go on.”

“It’s disgusting. It absolutely lingers.”

“No, what do they say?”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“Whadya mean?”

“Forget it.”

“Oh geez, don't get sour."

"You're the one that's sour."

"Anyway, Margie, you know I still love ya. Alright?”

“Alright.”

“I was thinkin’ about that canoe trip we took before Dougie was born. Remember when we took that canoe out? We bought 20 dolla’s worth of this and that, some snacks and all that from the store and just started rowing until-”

“It’s so stinky in here now.”

“I told you I’m sorry. How many times do I gotta tell y-?”

“A thousand more I guess - it’s disgusting in here.”

“I’m pouring my heart out.”

“Well whatever was inside it smells like poop.”

“That’s not very nice.”

“Of course it’s not, I said it in this room and nothin’ in this room is nice right now.”

“Oh stop. Thought you loved me. Farts and all.”

“I do.”

“Are YOU sure?”

“Yes.”

“Farts and all?”

“Yes, Henry, farts and all.”

“Good, because I just did it again.”

“Did what? Oh no.”

“You’re the sick person who loves me, Marge, and by extension, my farts.”

“Yeah, yeah."